Marriage is hard.
Because you know someone so well that you know all the right things to say. You know what will make them happiest and what will defeat them. So then, once you know that person, it's a conscious decision whether or not you're going to do the right thing or the wrong thing. If I know without a doubt that the one thing that will make my husband happiest would be to get up right now and wash dishes, then why am I not doing it? Because I don't want to? Because I'm tired? Whatever the reason, I am consciously making the choice to do something that makes ME happy instead of making HIM happy. So it's hard.
Is the guilt I feel when I realize I've spent the whole day not doing things to make Matthew's life better justified? I don't know. Maybe. Should every choice I make in life be made as a spouse instead of as an individual? Probably. Since I am a spouse, after all, and I did make that decision, actively and joyously about a year and a half ago. Because I'll have me for the rest of my life no matter what happens along the way. I'll always, at least, understand my own motives and what makes me happy. But a marriage is a living, growing thing that will start to wilt if we start to ignore it. And take it for granted as something that will always be there. If I want it to always be there, I need to be ready to consciously choose Wife Decision over Individual Decision.
So I guess what that means is I've got to put the laptop down and wash some dishes.
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Monday, August 6, 2012
A Photo-less Recap!
Finally we have had a weekend worth recapping! By the way, is the word "Recap" short for recapitulate? Recapitalize? Recapture? Recaptain? My spell check doesn't believe that "Recaptain" is a word, so I guess it's not that one. I think recapture sounds plausible. Or maybe recap is just a word on its own. Anyway, this last weekend. I finally didn't have to work, and the kids finally didn't have a million things we had to do with them. Yayyyy.
On Friday I skipped school and asked off work so that I could babysit the kids all day. That's something I haven't gotten to do in months and it was super fun. We went over to Toni's house to play with Jace and her friend's daughter Audrey for a little while. All of us enjoyed the chill out, no agenda time together. And I always love spending time with my future family-in-law. Toni's house always inspires me to come home and either clean or decorate, haha. Because hers is in better condition in both of those areas than here.
On Saturday morning we loaded up the family and embarked on a scavenge through a 17-mile yard sale. Probably 30 or 40 houses participate in a yard sale every summer on this 17 mile stretch of road. It's amazing that they still have stuff to give away year after year! But boy did we find some good stuff. Thomas and Lara both bought a few new toys, and I got 5 pieces of milk glass for my budding collection. It was awesome! Matthew hoped to maybe find a new lawnmower, but no cigar. If anyone has one they want to sell, let me know!
Saturday was the first anniversary of the day Matthew and I met. Jessica drove me to her house from Jacksonville airport, and he was sitting on the couch waiting patiently to meet his wife :-D. I still remember Jessica telling me that John's cousin was staying with them, and he was the best man in the wedding. And Jessica told me that John really wanted us to get together. Well I guess he made a pretty lucky guess, huh? In celebration of our Meet-a-versary, Matthew surprised me and took me out to eat some red Meat at Outback Steakhouse. Get it? Meet - Meat? No, just me. That's okay. So Matthew tried his very first Bloomin' Onion, which, as usual, did not disappoint. I ordered a steak, but I was so full from the bread and onion and salad that came before, I took my whole plate home in a carryout box. Haha isn't that the best way to go out to dinner? Get full before you ever get to the good stuff, and then take it all home for lunch the next day. We also had the pleasure of meeting a friend from Matt's work, Gene, and his family. They were super sweet, with two little daughters. And surprisingly enough, we were seated right next to them! So I got to play peekaboo with the toddler daughter for most of the night. Pretty, darn, fun. And at the end of the night, Gene and his wife left and bought us an ice cream sundae for dessert!!! It was really sweet of them (pun), and Matthew and I officially felt so full we thought we may both either explode or collapse before we made it to the car. If you ever read this, thank you Gene and Laurie for the awesome dessert!
Today was the day Matthew and I hung out at Jessica's reception and stayed up until 5 in the morning and went to the beach at midnight. Memories, memories :) I think tonight will be somewhat less exciting and more same old same old than that night. But that's okay, because that night was an exception in both of our lives.
Anyway! I have to start dinner and do some homework for class tomorrow. I hope everyone's enjoying their last few days of summer vacation OR their first few days of school! Thomas and Lara start tomorrow and you know I am more excited for them than they are for themselves :-P. As usual.
Enjoy your Monday!
See Y'all,
The Future Mrs. McCaslin
On Friday I skipped school and asked off work so that I could babysit the kids all day. That's something I haven't gotten to do in months and it was super fun. We went over to Toni's house to play with Jace and her friend's daughter Audrey for a little while. All of us enjoyed the chill out, no agenda time together. And I always love spending time with my future family-in-law. Toni's house always inspires me to come home and either clean or decorate, haha. Because hers is in better condition in both of those areas than here.
On Saturday morning we loaded up the family and embarked on a scavenge through a 17-mile yard sale. Probably 30 or 40 houses participate in a yard sale every summer on this 17 mile stretch of road. It's amazing that they still have stuff to give away year after year! But boy did we find some good stuff. Thomas and Lara both bought a few new toys, and I got 5 pieces of milk glass for my budding collection. It was awesome! Matthew hoped to maybe find a new lawnmower, but no cigar. If anyone has one they want to sell, let me know!
Saturday was the first anniversary of the day Matthew and I met. Jessica drove me to her house from Jacksonville airport, and he was sitting on the couch waiting patiently to meet his wife :-D. I still remember Jessica telling me that John's cousin was staying with them, and he was the best man in the wedding. And Jessica told me that John really wanted us to get together. Well I guess he made a pretty lucky guess, huh? In celebration of our Meet-a-versary, Matthew surprised me and took me out to eat some red Meat at Outback Steakhouse. Get it? Meet - Meat? No, just me. That's okay. So Matthew tried his very first Bloomin' Onion, which, as usual, did not disappoint. I ordered a steak, but I was so full from the bread and onion and salad that came before, I took my whole plate home in a carryout box. Haha isn't that the best way to go out to dinner? Get full before you ever get to the good stuff, and then take it all home for lunch the next day. We also had the pleasure of meeting a friend from Matt's work, Gene, and his family. They were super sweet, with two little daughters. And surprisingly enough, we were seated right next to them! So I got to play peekaboo with the toddler daughter for most of the night. Pretty, darn, fun. And at the end of the night, Gene and his wife left and bought us an ice cream sundae for dessert!!! It was really sweet of them (pun), and Matthew and I officially felt so full we thought we may both either explode or collapse before we made it to the car. If you ever read this, thank you Gene and Laurie for the awesome dessert!
Today was the day Matthew and I hung out at Jessica's reception and stayed up until 5 in the morning and went to the beach at midnight. Memories, memories :) I think tonight will be somewhat less exciting and more same old same old than that night. But that's okay, because that night was an exception in both of our lives.
Anyway! I have to start dinner and do some homework for class tomorrow. I hope everyone's enjoying their last few days of summer vacation OR their first few days of school! Thomas and Lara start tomorrow and you know I am more excited for them than they are for themselves :-P. As usual.
Enjoy your Monday!
See Y'all,
The Future Mrs. McCaslin
Friday, June 8, 2012
My Negative One Year Anniversary Present from Matthew
Um, and edit...as I published this post I realized I should maybe clarify the title - Nothing about my present was negative, and neither was our anniversary. I went around calling Memorial Day weekend our "Negative One Year Anniversary" it's a year before our wedding. In case anybody was a little worried. That's all it was about!! May 25th, 2013 everyone. By the way. In case you hadn't heard. :)
Two new family members have been adopted in the last few weeks, one of them has a tail and one has an engine. One has fur and one four wheels. I'll let you figure out which one is which.
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| This one doesn't have a name yet because I have not received my license plate with which to choose letters for a name. However, it is a Honda Fit and it is a present from my amazing fiance. |
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| Pennsylvania Seculeses: Watch this space! You'll be seeing this baby roll up at your front door in about 3 weeks! |
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| The McCaslin family loves hatchbacks. |
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| Plenty of room for two carseats PLUS lots of storage space whenever we need it! That third seat, where the carseat would normally go, folds up for underseat storage, the whole back seat folds flat, and the bigger backseat, where the two seats are in this picture, also can fold up to put stuff underneath. Super cool! |
I love it, and Matthew knew I would. With as little as I know about cars, the Honda Fit is the one car I actually talk about seriously liking the look and driving ability. We see/hear about it a lot on Top Gear, our vice of choice (although lately he's been getting into Dirty Jobs and Mythbusters - no no no) but in England it's called the Honda Jazz. I'll be honest, I like that name a lot better. I kinda wanna change the little emblem on back to one that says Jazz. It's on the list of expenses :P
Stay tuned for my next post, which is about our other adopted family member ^_^ She came just a little bit later in the week after this girl arrived.
TTYL, TFMM.
:-D
Monday, April 23, 2012
Celebrating Matthew
Hey All. There are a lot of updates I owe you. A lot of things have happened. Weather has changed, the kids have gotten taller, our internet is rubbish, Matthew got in a bike wreck, but I haven't the time for all those things. Here's what I need to talk about: my fiance is an old man. That's right I said it. He turned a whopping 24 years old on Saturday, right smack dab in between Earth Day and that other infamous holiday in which illegal things are done that of course I know nothing about because I've never known anybody that ever did anything illegal, especially drugs. I've just heard of the day from those rogue ne'erdowells over back in England, and of course, Amsterdam.
So what did we do? Well, since it wasn't on either day, we didn't take part in either festivities. No illegal substance consumed, no trees planted. We did, however, have a big ole day of fun-filled adventures!
Originally, the plan was to do some more fishing like we did last Saturday.
That wasn't an option, though, because the weather was disgustipating. So, instead, Matthew told me he wanted to run his first 5k in 8 months. Sure, why not? Mr. Muscles and the family all drove down to Dyer
School and stood out in the frigidity. Lara seems to be lacking a lot in coordination these days...when Matt picked her up from Granddaddy's house on Thursday, she had a huge gash on her leg from falling down the stairs. Then on Saturday she tripped at the 5k and got a bloody nose and skinned her knee, ripping her jeans. She hasn't quite figured out that when you're as delicate as a china doll, ya can't run around like a sumo wrestler. Oh well, it only looks a little bit like her father beats her, and I'm sure anyone that knows Matthew knows that's not the case.
So how did he do? 2nd in his age group, which I say is not half bad given his herniated disc and pinched nerve and he hasn't run at all since September. Not bad at all my friend, not bad. Although I have been keeping him in shape and on his toes since February when he started chasing me all over the place to try and tickle me. Apparently the squeals are cute, and by cute I think he means torturous and I'm not responsible for any injuries inflicted. I'm a pretty quick little whippersnapper, so he's got to be fast to keep up with me. I also always wear socks if I'm inside, so I can slip around the hardwood floors that he sticks to in bare feet. Mwahaha.
Aside from being 2nd in his age group, he also placed 24th overall. I told him I knew he would have gone faster if it wasn't his 24th birthday, but he decided to be cool and come in 24th in celebration of his age. In fact he counted all of the people in front of him to make sure that he was in exactly 24th place by the finish line. :) He's so clever.
Then we relaxed at Matthew's house for awhile, and gave him his birthday present from all of us - a big framed print of this:
The rest of the afternoon was spent...asleep. Everybody fell asleep without meaning to, for two hours. This was great and refreshing, except that I was the first one to wake up and look at the clock. That mean ole clock told us we only had about 10 minutes to get ready before we had to leave for a birthday grill out in honor of Teri (Matt's sister whose birthday was last week) and Matt. So Matt jumped in the shower (still gross and sticky from the 5k, bleck) and the kids got socks and shoes on and we headed out for an evening of fun and festivities!! And cupcakes. A huge number of cupcakes. Toni (Matthew's other sister) made beautiful vanilla cuppycakes with blue frosting and sprinkles, super cute. And I went crazy on the chocolate route and made Nutella-filled cupcakes with Nutella frosting, and Mocha cupcakes with chocolate frosting. We all felt a bit dead after the dessert course.
After a grand ole evening of hot dogs, burger, spicy sausages, and mac n' cheese...and cupcakes o' course, we all headed home serenaded by Silly Songs with Larry and put the kids to bed.
And now the internet seems to be fixed! Yippie kie yay!
Still don't have a real job apart from subbing. If anyone wants to help me out here, I would appreciate it! I need a regular paycheck!
See Y'all!
TFMM
So what did we do? Well, since it wasn't on either day, we didn't take part in either festivities. No illegal substance consumed, no trees planted. We did, however, have a big ole day of fun-filled adventures!
Originally, the plan was to do some more fishing like we did last Saturday.
That wasn't an option, though, because the weather was disgustipating. So, instead, Matthew told me he wanted to run his first 5k in 8 months. Sure, why not? Mr. Muscles and the family all drove down to Dyer
School and stood out in the frigidity. Lara seems to be lacking a lot in coordination these days...when Matt picked her up from Granddaddy's house on Thursday, she had a huge gash on her leg from falling down the stairs. Then on Saturday she tripped at the 5k and got a bloody nose and skinned her knee, ripping her jeans. She hasn't quite figured out that when you're as delicate as a china doll, ya can't run around like a sumo wrestler. Oh well, it only looks a little bit like her father beats her, and I'm sure anyone that knows Matthew knows that's not the case.
So how did he do? 2nd in his age group, which I say is not half bad given his herniated disc and pinched nerve and he hasn't run at all since September. Not bad at all my friend, not bad. Although I have been keeping him in shape and on his toes since February when he started chasing me all over the place to try and tickle me. Apparently the squeals are cute, and by cute I think he means torturous and I'm not responsible for any injuries inflicted. I'm a pretty quick little whippersnapper, so he's got to be fast to keep up with me. I also always wear socks if I'm inside, so I can slip around the hardwood floors that he sticks to in bare feet. Mwahaha.
Aside from being 2nd in his age group, he also placed 24th overall. I told him I knew he would have gone faster if it wasn't his 24th birthday, but he decided to be cool and come in 24th in celebration of his age. In fact he counted all of the people in front of him to make sure that he was in exactly 24th place by the finish line. :) He's so clever.
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| Crossing the finish line! |
Then we relaxed at Matthew's house for awhile, and gave him his birthday present from all of us - a big framed print of this:
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| That Lara is just a pretty lady isn't she?! |
The rest of the afternoon was spent...asleep. Everybody fell asleep without meaning to, for two hours. This was great and refreshing, except that I was the first one to wake up and look at the clock. That mean ole clock told us we only had about 10 minutes to get ready before we had to leave for a birthday grill out in honor of Teri (Matt's sister whose birthday was last week) and Matt. So Matt jumped in the shower (still gross and sticky from the 5k, bleck) and the kids got socks and shoes on and we headed out for an evening of fun and festivities!! And cupcakes. A huge number of cupcakes. Toni (Matthew's other sister) made beautiful vanilla cuppycakes with blue frosting and sprinkles, super cute. And I went crazy on the chocolate route and made Nutella-filled cupcakes with Nutella frosting, and Mocha cupcakes with chocolate frosting. We all felt a bit dead after the dessert course.
After a grand ole evening of hot dogs, burger, spicy sausages, and mac n' cheese...and cupcakes o' course, we all headed home serenaded by Silly Songs with Larry and put the kids to bed.
And now the internet seems to be fixed! Yippie kie yay!
Still don't have a real job apart from subbing. If anyone wants to help me out here, I would appreciate it! I need a regular paycheck!
See Y'all!
TFMM
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Developments!
All right folks, the future McCaslins (one current and one future, now that you mention it) has been doing some serious work and serious sitting and watching, respectively, on the lifeless baby Datsun. The first step was to push it into the garage on a beautiful Saturday morning, which was pretty fun. Wanna see the work that we've done? Chyeah I knew ya did.
Well, it's definitely been a discovery process to try and take apart this car. Lots of things have come out from under the hood and been declared useful or complete junk. I actually am learning a lot! I'm going to do my very best to accurately caption these photos, but please don't hold me accountable for all the technical terms I'm going to screw up! It's been a few days since we actually took these pictures and Matt explained what I was looking at. In retrospect everything looks like wires.
The carburetor, valve cover, cylinder head, and a BUNCH of other stuff got taken to work with Matthew to be cleaned. Luckily for him, most of the parts are in good enough shape that he can just clean them up and put them back in under the hood. It amazes me to think that he's going to be able to figure out where all that tubing goes, but I guess this is sort of his career. Perhaps I need not be so very amazed.
Though we got lucky with the amount of stuff that could be reused, there has also been a sizable accumulation of junk. The head bolts, a crazy amount of little bitty tubing, and all the gaskets are going to have to be replaced. Luckily, it's none of the most expensive parts that need to be replaced. Also, obviously, the interior is going to be redone. You remember that picture from my first post?
Take a moment to notice that Matthew did break down and let me wash the windows. Hooray! They're bright and shiny now. It's wonderful.
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| One of the head bolts broke off inside of the engine block while Matt was trying to take off the cylinder head, so he has to buy new head bolts and drill out the broken one before moving any further. This is the exhaust-less, pretty much everything-less view. |
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| A side view, for those who actually know what this is a picture of. For everyone else, look at that weird red plastic squid thing in the top left corner! I can't remember what it's for, but it still sits there watching us. |
The carburetor, valve cover, cylinder head, and a BUNCH of other stuff got taken to work with Matthew to be cleaned. Luckily for him, most of the parts are in good enough shape that he can just clean them up and put them back in under the hood. It amazes me to think that he's going to be able to figure out where all that tubing goes, but I guess this is sort of his career. Perhaps I need not be so very amazed.
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| Pile of parts that are now in line at the part cleaner at Tim Castellaw Ford. Apparently the carburetor (bottom left, crazy looking) is ridiculously complicated compared to modern ones. |
Seats are a pretty high priority, right after actually making the thing run. There's not any reason to sit in the car if it won't go anywhere, after all!
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| Pile of crap! |
There's your update on our 35 year old baby! Stay tuned, kids!
See Y'all!
TFMM
Thursday, February 23, 2012
The Datsun
The future McCaslin family has a new project. It's sitting outside Matthew's garage, and it looks remarkably like this:
I don't know why looking at it makes me so happy and expectant about my life together with Matt. I guess it really thrills me to be spending the rest of my life with someone who actually carried out the projects he wants to complete. Also, not putting down my somewhat less automotive-savvy immediate family, but a guy who knows how a car operates is really, really...cool. I am only just beginning to realize this about myself. Driving to the shop to see Matthew for whatever reason just makes me so happy. He may feel self-conscious about the perpetual grease underneath his fingernails and calloused hands, but I love it. I feel like I am being so cliche by loving it all, but I guess I am actually just a little bit traditional in everything I do. On the other hand, I dropped out of college and moved to Tennessee, so I might need a little tradition here and there to keep me on track with all of that craziness.
It is my theory that this car will evolve purely as a labor of love - Matthew's for classic imported cars, and mine for him. This car is going to symbolize a lot for me, little does he know. My heart beats faster just thinking about bringing him lemonade when it's hot, coffee when it's...well, coffee in any weather at any time of day or night, knowing him...and learning what promises to be precious little about cars by helping him. I'm a work in progress in that realm.
Please stay tuned to hear more about the work being done to our new family member, Mr. Datsun. Trivia for all you people that know as much about automotives as I do: did you know that Datsun is the original brand name of what we now just call Nissans? This means that once it is up and running, Matthew will be driving around the same car as me...mine is just 23 years younger. I'm sure he would disagree...because there is probably a whole lot of difference between our two cars -_- but according to me, his car is the father of my car. And that's all there is to it.
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| 1978 Datsun B210 |
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| Items that came with the car that Matt is excited about and I am clueless about! Yay! |
It is my theory that this car will evolve purely as a labor of love - Matthew's for classic imported cars, and mine for him. This car is going to symbolize a lot for me, little does he know. My heart beats faster just thinking about bringing him lemonade when it's hot, coffee when it's...well, coffee in any weather at any time of day or night, knowing him...and learning what promises to be precious little about cars by helping him. I'm a work in progress in that realm.
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| If nothing else, I can volunteer to help wash it! |
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| Another view of the beauty: yes, that is a chunk of bumper. |
Please stay tuned to hear more about the work being done to our new family member, Mr. Datsun. Trivia for all you people that know as much about automotives as I do: did you know that Datsun is the original brand name of what we now just call Nissans? This means that once it is up and running, Matthew will be driving around the same car as me...mine is just 23 years younger. I'm sure he would disagree...because there is probably a whole lot of difference between our two cars -_- but according to me, his car is the father of my car. And that's all there is to it.
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| The baby car :) |
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| I don't know if I'm supposed to put up pictures of license plates but the tags are out of date by about 14 years...I'm just wondering how the car got from California to here in the first place. |
I believe the first few adjustments we're going to put on will be basic housekeeping to make the thing run again. Something about sparkplugs....and the carburetor...um, so what that means is: the next couple blogs I post about this, if I post about this, will be somewhat anticlimactic. Stay with me kids!
Xoxo,
The future Mrs. McCaslin
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